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observing addiction
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Started this discussion. Last reply by Matt Feb. 13, 2008.

When did you do or say something that forced you reframe your picture of yourself in a more honest way?
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Started this discussion. Last reply by Bodhi Greenman Jul 12.

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Bodhi Greenman replied to Matt's discussion 'When did you do or say something that forced you reframe your picture of yourself in a more honest way?'

And I too have stepped on a few toes during momentary lapses of conciousness. And I have tried the whole removal from society, locking myself in a room for weeks, and taking myself away to sit on a mountain, literally. And then put me back in soc...

July 12

Steve replied to Matt's discussion 'When did you do or say something that forced you reframe your picture of yourself in a more honest way?'

This is an excellent question I think. I try to "expose" something that I would normally conceal about myself to others, if not daily, then at least several times a week. Fortunately I have the luxury of being in a group of people with whom this i...

July 11

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How did you hear of the Fourth Way?: I heard about quite randomly in 1998 from a co-worker in a restaurant with which I was employed.

What would you like to learn?: Everything!! But just one everything at a time.

About Me:: Not really sure what to say. I've certainly had my share of challenges; mostly of an inner nature though. Questions of who I am and what it is to be here often have percolated into and perhaps obstructed my Life goals. I know I'm not supposed to, I guess I have always secretly hoped that the Work would give me Life answers. Yet, I feel that within the context of the esoteric teachings that I have been in contact with (or think I have anyway), my Life goals are, or could be, just a footnote on a path of existence that is infinitely more satisfying. I'd like to make serious efforts in uncovering who, or what I am but then again I don't ALWAYS want to. I'd like to strengthen the wish to make honest, concerted, consistent efforts in a particular direction. Or I wanna be a rock star!!
One thing that seems true is that meditating with some regularity brings clarity to my thoughts and makes the idea of self observation less of an idea and more of an act. But without a doubt it takes effort and concentration. Its quite easy for me to say or do something that will decrease, if not ruin any efforts at self observation for that day and even days to come. Of course I have ready made excuses (buffers maybe?), that get me through that time without even realizing how much of it has gone by.
But, I try to go easy on myself in this regard and get back up and try again as soon as I realize I have not been trying all that hard.

I don't understand a lot of what Gurdjieff and Ouspensky say. I used to want to "crack the code" of the hydrogens and orders of laws etc. Not so much anymore. I figure the best I can do with what I have is meditate and observe myself the best I can.