The Fourth Way for the rest of us.

#3 Observe When You're Critical

Try to be aware of the times we’re critical of another either in conversation or inwardly. Notice how it affects your attitude toward the other. Listen to the conversation of the inner critical I. Become familiar with how it justifies itself. Don’t try to change it! Simply observe as if you were watching an interesting stranger. The object is to get to know how it operates.

Maybe you’re critical mainly toward a group. A political, racial, or religious group might be targeted by the critical I. This can be examined in the same way.

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by William on March 6, 2009 at 10:41am: Oh this is a great one ! Critical ! Constantly and without ceasing. I noticed it sometime ago (labeling it "judgementalism") and have watched it pop up constantly. It serves to prop up my weak and self-condemning ego, to give me some sense of self-worth and to place me up above everyone else.

Fortunately, I've managed to keep it away from my mouth. The critical inner monologue is ongoing, but it remains inner and not outer (where it can hurt others and embarrass me). I match it with another monologue that balances out the criticism with compassion as I study the subject. Above all, I hate having this sort of superior I yammering in my head.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by James Parkinson on March 6, 2009 at 10:47am: *smile* It took me a while to realize when those little I's don't have something out there to target they gleefully turn on me. Actually had to give up being critical of them.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by William on March 6, 2009 at 11:00am: Yes ! When the I's go after others I am safe from them turning on me. I hadn't thought of it that way before.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bodhi Greenman on May 27, 2009 at 12:17pm: One question on 'The object is to get to know how it operates' please James.

Could you expand on this please, what do you mean by get to know?; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by James Parkinson on May 27, 2009 at 1:40pm: It is the False Personality, the Acquired part of us that covers the Real or Essential part. By observing It properly we become familiar with how It operates, the kinds of things It thinks, says and does. It has a pattern that can be observed and remembered. This is what is meant by getting to know how It operates. The advantage is that when you are observing It you are not being It. Any time spent not being It is a gain for the Real and a loss for the Acquired.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bodhi Greenman on May 28, 2009 at 11:54am: Firstly thank you. Half way through the picture.

I'm watching it, when it comes up it is getting more apparent, there appears to be different 'versions' of it, some of the types of criticisms or the way they manifest remind me of people I know, who in the past have irritated with the way they say things,(now I know why) therefore I have given it the names of these people and have begun greeting it with their name.

I have one particular it that comes in when I get up for mediation, it's very sarcastic and condemning, and says things like 'how long is this going to last', and when I recognised it, and started saying 'ah good morning Tim', it seems to have taken a back seat, however, there is a queue of them in reserve ready to take it's place.

Not seeing a pattern yet or how it operates.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by James Parkinson on May 28, 2009 at 12:48pm: If you continue you will. I have the sense you will continue. It might be helpful to give them another label rather than the name of the person of whom they remind you. Perhaps that will keep you less identified, more separate. There could be an unconscious emotional charge on the association with the person and the behavior. The way the False Personality operates may be very stupid at times but it also remains very cunning.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bodhi Greenman on May 31, 2009 at 10:54am: Thank you. Your spider senses serve you well [smile].

Yes there does feel like there is an emotional connection with the name, disdain if you will, I will try another label.

My copy of Our Many Selves arrived this weekend. So I also have portable support.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by James Parkinson on May 31, 2009 at 11:54am: Great! It's the first book I ever read that mentioned the Work. It's what got me started.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Bodhi Greenman on July 12, 2009 at 3:12pm: I see there are things I am critical about and in these I see patterns, and I see what is 'out there' it in me. And I'm seeing other stuff too, not just the critical. I see my small reportoire of reactions and emotions, these feeling which I have told myself in the past are real.

And I see the sleep, not in me yet, but in others.; ▶ Reply to This