Make a Wish

[James Parkinson]

If you could have one Work wish fulfilled what would it be? I know we're all supposed to say, I wish to remember myself, but do we really? If we really wish to remember ourselves why do we not do so more often? If you look at your life what do you see? Do you see someone who wishes to remember himself? If not then what?

[James (UK)]

James, I am definately becoming more emotional towards this but I still have a lot of work to do. For instance, if I won £5 million on the lottery tomorow then I have to be honest and say that self remembering would take a backseat.........for how long I dont know?

As soon as the bad stuff hits then I am full of energy for self remembering but I know this is not right - my pendulum is swinging and I need to grab it in the middle and keep hold!

[James Parkinson]

Thanks for your honesty. My wife and I were talking the other day and I asked her what we would do if we won the lottery. That would be pretty tough since we've never bought a ticket. She said she wouldn't change anything. I said I wouldn't change anything. Are we in a rut or what? *smile*

Valuation comes slowly but I think that's the best way. Perhaps being sincere about where we are is a major step. You have no idea how bad winning the lottery would be.

[Matt]

Well, I guess if by wish it is meant to have something with no effort on my part then sure, I'd wish to remember myself all the time. But thats like wishing for a square circle, I think.

I have heard the word wish used in a different way though that was to indicate something like a desire formulated with all centers working at the same time. If that's the case I think I'd wish for the same thing. But in truth I do not wish that, or if I did, or at least if I was able, then would I not already have it? Maybe I wish to able to wish.

[James Parkinson]

To wish to be able to wish makes a lot of sense to me. It's like being willing to be willing. Sometimes we're just stuck and the best we can do is wish to be unstuck. Good thoughts, Matt, thanks.

[James Parkinson]

I was just reading, Our Many Selves and came across the following: "To be helpful, disciplines must be tied in with your life and where you want to go (your wish?). This will not make them easy, but it will make it possible for you to struggle with them in difficult circumstances. The steps of the inner life are only for those who are conscious of a level of life different from the one on which they are living. What often happens is that disciplines are pressed on those who may not be on any journey at all and are quite content where they are. In this way what helps some to be born into freedom becomes the means for delivering others into slavery. Whenever we become serious about our aims in life, disciplines begin to take on positive meanings and cease to throw us into negative states. It is the nature of discipline to create friction. The word is derived from the Latin discere, which means to learn. Always there will be a self in us that will resist knowing about the new, a self that wants to keep things as they are and can't bear to look a fact in the face. It is in the fire of this struggle that one's many selves become united in a single aim."

[Matt]

I often ask myself how much energy am I working with at the moment. Many many things are striving to take it away, and all to often I freely give it. I don't think I am capable of too much self-imposed discipline. It's that Law of Octaves thing, I think, where I dont give the needed shocks and the train switches rails again and again.
Though on the meditation retreat I felt tremendously inspired to keep the precepts, and was often awed by the very notion that I was even here, with all these others most of whom I expect were striving as hard or harder than I was. Then, when the negative stuff came up, I could just let it. I'd like to be able to do that again.(and again)

[Matt]

I wish that sometimes too. Especially the second part. I think for me, one of my aims needs to be a willingness to not withdraw from the world. I tell you: I can be perfectly happy there, but also very asleep. It is in the uncomfortable times when I experience what I'd call social anxiety that I can make an excuse and get away, or try to remember myself and put up with the suffering, observe it, look at from different angles. It just does not matter what people think, I only think that it does.

[Cheryl]

My grandmother used to say "If wishes were horses, beggars would ride." I usually wish for things I'll never have, lottery winnings being just one of those things. I don't buy lottery tickets either...but find myself thinking how great it'd be to win.

What I've found, is that the things that come easily to us are not appreciated very much. So, while I think my wish would be to have something come to me easily...in the long run, what will mean the most is whatever I have worked hardest to get.

So, how about wishing for time, and strength, and perserverence. Wait, that's three wishes. Pick any one, they'll all fit.

[Roger]

I think wishing and willing are two very different things. I truly don't wish to work out in the mornings, yet somehow I am able to will it most mornings. I can rattle off all the reasons why I work out: it's good for you, you can eat without gaining weight, it's good for my vanity, etc. yet I would still rather not do it. I know all the reasons why remembering myself is good for me and from a physical effort standpoint, it's a lot easier (I can do it sitting down, without breaking a sweat) yet I have not been able to will it anywhere near to the extent of working out. I suspect this is because the "attractions" of the external world are much stronger than my ability to will the work.

[James Parkinson]

Yes, Roger, that’s a good distinction. Wishing and willing seem quite different. How many wills do we have? Let’s say a will for each I. Let’s round the I’s off to one thousand. That means we have a minimum of one thousand wills?

I shudder to think what my state might be if what Matt says is right. A desire formulated with all centers working at the same time. Well, I suppose that’s not so bad if they don’t have to be working together.

My sense is, for me, a wish is a strong desire that arises in my Being as a result of proper Self-Observation. Perhaps now we have the making of two Centers involved? The Intellectual Center where Observing I may reside? The Emotional Center where valuation arises. When I see what I am I wish to remember myself. It might have something to do with request and response as well, or true prayer that arises out of a real need beyond the place of self-emotions.

I don’t know about willing to do the Work. I’m not sure I trust that in me. Thank you, you’ve given me something about which to think.

[Roger]

After thinking some more about this, I think I'm able to will working out in the mornings, even though I do not wish to do it, because I am "committed" to it. So now I have another word to think about. How and why does one make a commitment to do something?, how does one keep that commitment? What little I have been able to elucidate so far, makes me think of positive reinforcement. I can see the results of working out, so I continue to do it. I get paid when I go to work so, even though I may not wish to get up in the morning, the reward makes it worthwhile. If I study hard, I get an "A", so even though I may prefer to watch TV, I pick up the book.
My point here is that (for me) the reward or positive reinforcement of remembering myself is not quite so obvious or easy to connect. I may spend 5 minutes (on a good day) remembering myself and then I get distracted and off I go. But nothing special happened (right then and there) because I made that effort to remember myself. The payoff may come later on (if at all) in a different form, etc. But I am not being positively reinforced in a way that I can identify (meaning recognize) and that makes me want to go back and do it again.

[Steve]

My wish would be to really understand, live, and have my being, in my nothingness. It seems to me that most of my mechanicalness and imagination would be made passive, if I could possess this.